The life of Lauren

I often get asked how I am able to travel while I am earning my masters degree and while I have a full time job. The first piece of advice that comes to mind is “just make it happen”, but I know that is not realistic, and that is defiantly me living in my fairytale world. I want to share the things I do that have helped me travel while living a very busy life.

1. Plan plan plan

I promise, booking trips on a whim, is not the way to go when it comes to traveling, especially with a busy schedule. Don’t get me wrong, I have a spontaneous side, but I have learned that it is best to plan ahead when wanting to travel. The timeframe that seems to always work for me is 3 months. This timeframe gives me enough time to save money, plan, and it also isn’t too long until the trip happens, so it gives me a sense of hope. ( I know that is a bit cheesy) With a busy schedule, this allows you to also have assignments/work done prior to travel. Planning is the one thing I will always do now before traveling, and I highly recommend to others.

2. Save Money

Saving money is difficult, especially when there are things like coffee shops near you everyday. But seriously, it takes discipline to save money. I myself, can not save money for normal things like an emergency fund, or paying for a downpayment on a car, but I can save money to travel. Once I plan the trip, I start saving money instantly. Something that really has worked for me, is with each paycheck, I will take out about $200, or more, and set it aside. Saving money is so important when it comes to traveling, because you do not want to be stressed about money on a trip, because when you are home, you are in class or at work, or in my case, both.

3. Payment plans

I know this contradicts the second tip, but payment plans are amazing!! (99% of the time) I have used payment plans on flights and cruises so far, and it makes traveling so doable. Before starting gradate school, I was able to work more, so payment plans were not as necessary as they are now. I have found that payment plans have helped other people as well, and I believe they are beneficial if they are used in a mindful way.

4. Weekend trips

Traveling does not have to be far! There are so many beautiful places that require only a weekend away to get a nice experience away from home at a new place. While living a hectic life, getting away for a weekend is a good way to relax and to practice self care. I am a big advocate on doing weekend trips because of how feasible they are to do.

I hope these tips are found useful- and please comment if you have anything you do, or anything to add on!

Thank you for reading 🙂

It’s 9:00 on a Friday night, and I am sitting in my room eating pizza, pepperoni and mushroom to be specific, and watching one of my favorite shows, Gossip girl. (No judgment if you haven’t seen the show) So I was thinking, wouldn’t this be an amazing time to talk about self love. The thing I love most about self love, is that it looks different for everybody.. Because everybody is different. 

Self love used to be a phrase I would hear and I wouldn’t think much about it. I did not understand the importance of it until a few years ago, when my life changed drastically. I had a lot of unexpected events occur in my life in a short period of time, and I was very overwhelmed. At the time, I already had the idea that I wanted to go to school to be a therapist, therefore I had knowledge about mental health, and I knew the importance of being aware of mental health. I have always been one to give advice on how to improve others mental health, but I am not the best at advocating for myself.  I remember after those specific events happened in my life, I looked up articles on how to create a routine for myself where I could practice self love. I think for so many people, life just feels like a constant merry go round, where we can never really stop, and do the things we love. It felt like that for me, and even after I understood the importance of self love, it still would feel like that from time to time. 

For me, self love looks like a bubble bath, with a candle going, and a glass of my favorite wine.It can also look like taking a walk outside, or going to the gym, while listening to my favorite music. I am even practicing self love while blogging, eating my pizza, and having gossip girl on in the background. There are many things I do that I consider self love, but I think the hardest thing for me was believing that I deserved self love. I believe it is common to feel like we are not worthy of good things throughout our lives. I am not saying it is okay to feel like that, but with myself and after working with mental health patients, I think it is “normal”. There have been many times in my life where I have not felt worthy of taking care of myself. But once I realized that this thought was not true, and that it was a thinking error of mine, I was able to really dig into what made me happy. I always would have excuses for not having enough time because I would be working constantly. Then I would get home late from work, eat, and go straight to bed. I had to make time in my schedule to ensure that I was taking care of myself, and that is harder than it sounds. Once I realized the importance of doing the things I loved on a daily basis, I found it easier to make time. I just had to believe I deserved it, and I believe that everybody deserves it. We all go through times in our lives that are difficult, and we all have insecurities .Self love allows us to remind ourselves we are important, and that we are worthy of living a happy and healthy life. 

I saw a Tiktok the other day that I keep referencing. It said, “ Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for that special day, because today is special.” This has really stuck with me. We are not promised tomorrow. We need to do things every day that make us happy. I know burning a candle isn’t everybody’s thing, but modify this quote and make it your own! We only have one life, and self love is essential!

Life is not what I expected it to be. Growing up, I believed in love and fairytales. When I say growing up, I mean until I was 22. BUT, all of the movies, TV shows, and books I read made me believe that love at first sight is real, or that nothing will break true love. Let me tell you, you can love somebody more than you could ever imagine, but it isn’t enough. In any relationship, we all know that we have to put in effort to better the relationship and for it to grow. We are supposed to be uplifting the ones that we love and care about, and the outcome should be that both the people in the relationship benefit and are happy.  In the beginning of relationships, we all are able to feel this happiness that we didn’t even know was possible. Like we wait for something that we did not even know we were waiting for; a surprise you could say. As a relationship grows, the people in the relationship change without realizing it. The change can either be together, or separate. Unfortunately, when it is separate, the outcome is usually not good. People grow apart, and I did not think this was possible when you are in-love with somebody, but it is. Because it happened to me. 

I have always been so good at giving relationship advice to my friends. I am even going to school to become a marriage counselor. But for the life of me, I can not take my own advice. I know right from wrong. I have expectations and desires. But one thing that really messes up with my mind is love. Or should I say love for one specific person. Do you know the feeling you have when you get married and you are so sure that this is the person you want to spend your life with? Well, I do. And it does not just go away when the person you married does not want to be with you anymore. I have commitment issues, but not commitment issues where I am unable to commit, its commitment issues where I am unable to un-commit. I have been separated for 5 months now. The longest and shortest 5 months of my life. When I think about how I was 3 months ago- it feels like it was years ago. But then, I will read a text message that was sent 5 months ago- and it breaks my heart all over again like it was just sent. Time does not really make sense when going through a breakup. But there is a reason for this, right? 

Let’s get back to both people in the relationship having to put in effort. In case you didn’t know, for a relationship to work ,both people have to be putting in the same amount of effort. A lot of people don’t believe this method until it is too late to save their relationship, or they simply don’t listen. I am not saying I am perfect when it comes to relationships, I am far from perfect, but I have done lots of research on what a healthy relationship looks like, or how to have a happy marriage. I think what happens is people become uninterested in each other when they feel they already know everything about the other person. But, because we are changing everyday, there is always something new to learn about the person you love. When I say that I was head over heels for this man, it was an understatement. I wanted to do everything that he wanted to do, I wanted to always be with him, I wanted to even believe in the same things he did. And this could just be love, or really unhealthy, but in this case, I lost myself. I was going above and beyond in the relationship.  And when I lost myself, I became sad and lost. Not to mention when this happened, we were also in a long-distance relationship, so it was even harder. And maybe the distance is what made me realize I lost myself. I was doing things alone for the first time in 5 years. 

I have learned that no matter what we plan, the plan will most likely not be exactly what we want. For me, when I make a plan, I do everything I can to stick to the plan. But, life has taken me so far away from my original plans, and maybe there is a reason for this. Maybe I am exactly where I am supposed to be right  now. All I know is that I do not regret anything in my life. I believe everything has happened to me so that I could learn, and also share my experiences so hopefully others don’t make some of the mistakes I have made. I am so grateful for my relationship with my ex-husband, because now I know what I want, and what I deserve. It took me a while for me to get to this point, but unfortunately there is only so much I can handle, and I did everything I could to try and save the marriage. But it never was enough. I was never going to be enough for him. Maybe someday I will be able to have a fairytale love. One where I don’t feel like I have to please another person, and depend on their happiness for my happiness. Life is rough, but life also goes on. I know that better things will come our way if we allow them to. 

SO, with all of this being said, love yourself. Don’t change for anybody, because we are all different for a reason. There is going to be somebody that will appreciate you for you.

I have always been open about my feelings to my friends and sometimes family, but I never thought I would have a blog and talk about my feelings to everybody. I took it upon myself to start this blog under the intentions of sharing my experience of living in another country, and because I am no longer living in another country, I had to think about something else I am interested in that I can blog about. Thats when I thought about mental health, and what it means to me. I studied psychology in college, and I have taken many classes over the human mind. I am also familiar with mental health from personal experience. SO- I am going to do some research, and hopefully be able to help some people out regarding mental health. The past few months have been difficult, but also rewarding. I have been able to find out things about myself that I didn’t know, and also I am trying to remember who I was when I was happy. 

I have been very open about my marriage, and what happened, and there are days where I am okay about it, and where I really do understand that better things are waiting for me. But there are also days when I question what I did wrong, and how I can fix myself so that nobody will leave me again. I know these are normal thoughts and feelings, but when it is you thinking them, it hits harder than them just being “normal” feelings. It has definitely been a rollercoaster for me, but I am finally seeing why everything happened, and that I am not in control of how somebody else feels. We are only in control of our feelings, and that is what makes everybody so unique in the way we deal with major life changes. 

I know I have been silent, however, I really have been focusing on my mental health. I still plan on writing, however, I am just going at my own pace with everything. Life is very different for me than when I initially started this blog. But, I know that I am doing better, and that time really is helping with everything. 

So here’s a question I was asked the other day, and I had to really think about it. Everybody has a different view on what happiness means. For me, I believe I am happy when I am surrounded by the people I love, and who love me. So, with that being said, when was the last time you were happy? I hope you are able to think of a response that was recent, and if you can’t, find something to do that makes you happy!

Do you believe in fate? Fate can look different from person to person. It is a conversation I have been having with myself for quite some time, and the majority of time I do 100% believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes there is that small percentage where I believe that we make the lives we have for ourselves. When I think of fate, the first thing I think of is a soulmate or love. Soulmates could be a significant other, or even a friend, and I have had the privilege of experiencing both. It is the feeling of being deeply connected to somebody. And even though I have experienced this feeling, it also takes a lot of work to create a bond with somebody to feel a deep connection with. There is work involved. Fate makes it seem as if you meet the person, and you are instantly connected, which could happen, but I believe that every relationship requires work. Fate can also be something like a job not working out, and something better coming along. Fate on google is defined as the development of events that happen out of a persons control. I would say that I am an optimist. I really do always have hope in situations where a lot of people would not have hope. That is why majority of the time, I do believe in fate. So maybe fate is real once the relationship is established? Or maybe fate can only be determined by certain life events? What is your opinion on the subject? I would love to hear feedback, and if you have experienced a soulmate connection, what was it like?

Howdy folks!

If you have been following along, I am sure you noticed that my posts are different, and not about living in Mexico anymore. Sadly, this is true, but I have been thinking about what I could write about instead of Mexico. I decided I wanted to continue blogging, so I will be writing about travel tips/hacks, and just personal experiences I have encountered. Maybe a few DIY projects too 🙂 I have always enjoyed writing( yes, I am the kind of girl that loves writing love letters), and I am glad I can use this as an outlet from this crazy world. My passion in life is to help others in any way that I can, and I hope my posts can help you out! 🙂 Thank you for following along, and I am excited to share my experiences and tips with you!

Hello everybody! 

This post is going to be a bit different from my previous post. My blog was created to talk about my experience about Mexico, and what I did to move abroad. For me, I didn’t just move to Mexico for fun, or for an adventure, I moved for love. I had been in a long distance relationship for 2.5 years, and I finally decided to move once I graduated college. I had thought that my husband was going to be moving back to the U.S., because that was the original plan, but then the immigration process took forever, and he became established in Mexico, which is okay. I also continued going to school, to accomplish something I had wanted to do since a young age.

    The whole 2.5 years of doing long distance, I would visit around every 3 months, and stay for 1-2 weeks at a time. It was very hard, but it is doable when both people in the relationship want it to work. Mexico is a lot different than the U.S. Everything is done so differently. When I first went to Mexico in 2019, I was in shock. It took me a while to get used to the culture there, which I think is normal. I was in denial about Mexico, because I just wanted my husband back where we had begun our relationship. I had such high hopes that we would be together again, living the same way we did before he left. I really thought it was going to work. About 4 months ago I realized that he did not plan on moving, or at least anytime soon. It was always in the back of my head that someday I would need to move to Mexico, because I have heard from so many people that the immigatriton process takes forever, which is true. I wasn’t entirely against the idea ever, but my family and friends did not like the thought of me moving to another country. As cheesy as this sounds, I just wanted to be wherever he was. Of course I was going to miss my life and family back home, but all I wanted was to be with him. Nobody really understood that either, they thought I was just throwing everything I had worked for in the U.S. to follow a man, but in reality I was leaving stuff behind so that I could start my future with the one person I wanted to be with more than anything. 

The whole 7 year years of my relationship, I had people critiquing it, judging it, and telling me what they would do if they were in my shoes. And thankfully, I did not listen, because I was able to experience a love that I feel like a lot of people won’t be able to. It was rare. I was able to learn things about myself that I never knew. I really was excited to start a new life In Mexico, even though I was moving there for love. It really is a beautiful country, and I think it has so much potential. The media really does make it seem so horrible, and yes, there are parts where I would not go, but the majority of places are safe and beautiful. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would move, not just for love, but to help the world see how much potential there is. I really wish things would have ended differently, and I continued living there. But for now, I am back in the states, and I am now trying to figure out what I want.

It was not my decision to move back, or end the relationship. I did everything I could, so that would not have to happen. But, I also learned when somebody wants to be with you, they will do whatever it takes, and unfortunately, that was not the case anymore in my relationship. I was living there 2 weeks, and we both thought all of our problems would be solved just because we would be together, and not doing long distance. I know everything happens for a reason, but this was not supposed to happen like this. I will always appreciate my time spent with him, and I will always cherish our memories. Like I already mentioned, the love we had for each other was rare, and I think to be able to love somebody the way I love him, is special. Thankfully, we ended on good terms, and I truly want whats best for him, and I do want him to be happy. He helped me grow into the person I am today, and I believe that there are a lot of things about me that reflect him, and I think I also helped him become the person he is today.

 

Please do not hesitate to ask me any questions, I do want to continue sharing the stories about my experience, and I hope someday I get to go back.

Moving to another country involves a lot of steps that can easily be missed, or not even thought of. I am going to write about the steps I took, and how they can be helpful to somebody moving to another country, or even moving to another state.

1. Make sure you are 100% certain you are ready to move

It personally took me 2 years to know I was ready to move. I was not sure if I was ready, or if I even wanted to move. My move is a bit different than just being adventurous, it’s a decision I had to make because my significant other and I have been living in 2 different countries for the past couple of years, however there are still spontaneous decisions I have had to make based on my move. Just being certain will make the move a lot easier for you, and also for the people that will miss you.

2. Research the area you will be living in, and just learn basic information

What I mean by this, is to know what surrounds the area, what stores are there, the population, the language, and just things you will need to know so you wont be shocked. I have been to the area I am moving 12 times, therefore I do know a lot about the area, but usually spontaneous moves are different. The person moving has maybe been there once, if even. So with that being said, it would be good not to go in blindsided.

3. Have a planned income

Obviously, having a source of income is needed when moving to another country. There are a lot of remote jobs that are available, especially for entrepreneurs. I have had a difficult time finding a job that would suit me, but I know once I know Spanish, it will be a lot easier for me to find work (I am still working on the language barrier). Start researching potential jobs that you could have, and I would start from there. Also, I have credit card debt that I could not take care of before moving, so I had to make sure to have a plan to continue paying that. Be as financially stable as you can before you pack up and move.

4. Start selling or finding where you will put the belongings you can not take with you

For me this included selling my car, furniture, and clothes that would not be necessary in Mexico. Who needs sweaters and scarfs when it’s always summer? As soon as I had a date on my move, I immediately started packing what was essential, and selling the stuff that I would no longer need.

5. Go to the doctor!

I made sure that I was able to go to the doctor for a checkup, and also have my teeth cleaned before moving. I find this stuff important, because we only have one body in our lifetime. There are obviously places you can do this in any country, but I just wanted to make sure I was up to date, so I could have time to find a doctor and a dentist.

There are more steps that need to be taken, but these are the 5 that I really noticed helped me a lot. You want your move to be as easy as it can be, because it will be hard being in a new environment. I hope this helps:)

Is it hard to become a citizen in Mexico?

Like any other country, there is a long process to become a citizen, however Mexico does not have strict requirements, and compared to the US, is a lot easier. Mexico also recognizes marriage, therefore, because I am married to a Mexican citizen, it is a bit easier.

Isn’t Mexico known to be a dangerous country?

Mexico is known as an unsafe country, especially near the Texas/Mexico border. Where I will be living is nowhere near the border, and is a safe, small community. I believe that anywhere can be unsafe, and you just need to be aware of your surroundings, and if you don’t feel safe, trust your gut. There is crime everywhere, and all we can do is just be cautious.

Do you speak Spanish?

The simple answer is no, I am not fluent in Spanish, yet. BUT, I have been to Mexico 12 times in the past 2 years, and every-time I go, I learn more and more. I can understand Spanish, I just have trouble responding quickly enough in a conversation. Once I am fully immersed in the culture, I will have to learn, so I am not too worried.

What are the plane ticket prices like? Is it easy for you to come back to the states?

Round trip tickets average from $200-$300. It really depends on what day you fly, and what month as well. I have learned that January, May, and October are the best times to take a flight from or to Mexico. I would say it is easy to come back to the states, it just requires a long drive from where I will live, to the airport.